A page from Anagha’s diary dated April 3rd …..
“Today some blank feeling has ruled me so much that I just took the laptop out and feeling like typing these feelings in diary,,, I am desperately hitting the keyboard with such a force which is getting piled up in my heart,,, If today someone asks me what is the biggest crime on the planet.. I will say that its helping someone intentionally or unintentionally to slowly take out his/her smile away… its like crushing someone smile with a hammer in hand… “Smile” which is the costliest things as on date in this world.. Pure smile is the light on a happy face.. it’s the indication that the heart is happy and content with the things we have… We run for many things our dreams goals and achievements but in that race if we don’t get our smile and happy heart, what the use of just living a mechanical life..
What was my crime amol? I am not blaming you but I want to know, I had just expected something from you.. your presence… was it my fault that I liked you or was it yours who couldn’t see that.. was it my fault that you are soo good to me that I am not finding anything better than you.. why these songs being played on my laptop are making me remember you… If I had to loose you , why the **** you came in my life.. This day is looking so boring that I am feeling my entire energy is lost and I am not sure when I am going to get it back. Was loving you deeply a crime and if yes why I couldn’t stop my self that time and also now one year later,,, am I the one who is having the feeling or you also, in fact are you the one enjoying your life there, in your own worlds…
But why I would blame him now.. amol, I know you never felt the way I felt for you, and its true, you are a human being with your own feelings .. so its not your fault yar… in this case God! I will blame you, definitely for stealing my smile… You are the culprit… Why you made this world such an empty place for me… Why there is no one who will wake me up from this bad dream? Why I am feeling sooooo much empty and sad today !! Why my fingers are trying to dial the number and speak to him…
Happy birthday Amol..
Just want to say this.. your best friend is the second most (first is definately ur mom) happy girl on the planet for you on this day, but she has stopped herself from calling you because it will be difficult for her !! I am sorry!! ”
She closed her diary removed the spectacles and slept calmly..
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